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admin · Posted: Tue May 29, 2007 7:20 am Post subject: Heard it all before, I know.

CUTTING, Why It WON'T Take Away Your Pain...

FEELING PAIN FOR EMOTIONAL GAIN:
Studies have shown that up to 10 per cent of Australian Teenagers have deliberately harmed themselves in some way, and girl 15-19 make up the largest proportion of people whom self-harm.
So, why are normal girls, like you and your friends, turning to suck desperate measures?
Lucinda, 15, has been self-harming for two years, she explains, "I first started cutting because I was really stressed when I began high school. I didn't have any friends and I found the work way too hard. I was just so desperate for the bad feelings to go away... Cutting makes me feel better when I do it, but afterwards, I feel even worse than before. I guess a part of me is just hoping that someone will notice and magically fix everything for me."
Teens who self-harm find that the physical pain they inflict on themself temporarily takes away their emotional pain. Often they have increasing levels of emotional distress that feel out of control, and the action of physical injury alleviates that, giving them a sense of calm. They aren't necessarily trying to hurt themselves; it's more of a 'quick relief' mechanism. People, who self-harm are not attempting suicidal behaviours, although, research shows that they are at higher sick of suicide than people who don't self-harm.
Teens may self-harm for many reasons, such as they are experiencing problems at home, school or friends, or because they have an underlying psychological condition, such as depression. Also, many people who self harm do so in order to get attention. Thinking that if people can see their physical scars, they will see just how much they are hurting on the inside. But, ironically, many of their friends may turn away from them, thinking they are just "attention seekers" or "trying to be cool", so the person ends up feeling more alone than before.

SHORT-TERM ANSWER, LONG-TERM PROBLEM:
People who deliberately self-harm may think they're getting distant relief, but it's only a temporary solution that doesn't actually solve the problem that's causing them to act out to begin with. In fact, they could be making things even worse for themselves:
The Physical Effects:
Deliberate self-harm is not the same as attempting suicide, and engaging in self-harm does not mean the person wants to die.
Self-harming is unlikely to cause death because the injuries are usually superficial. However, it is possible to accidentally cause death, or nerve/tendon damage, which the self-harmer certainly didn't intend. Self-harmers can also experience scarring, which although fades with time, serves as a permanent reminder as to how not dealing with your issues head-on can cause long-term problems.
The Psychological Effects:
Scars may fade, but the psychological effects of self-harm can last a lot longer if self-harmers don't get the emotional help they need.
People who self-harm often get trapped in a cycle of self-destruction, The Psychological effects of self-harming rather than dealing with their problems puts them at high risk of depression and suicide, as well as harmful behaviours such as substance abuse.
It's obviously extremely distressing to be trapped in this pattern, so, life becomes about ten times as hard for the person self-harming, when they have this distress to add to the problems they were already experiencing. Because some self-harmers have a history of abuse or other traumatic experiences, it can take a long time to deal with these emotional issues.

BREAKING THE CYCLE:
Although it seems scary or too hard to hard, getting help for yourself - or helping a friend that self-harms is the only way to break the cycle of self-destruction. Remember, people who self-harm are often just looking for someone to recognise their emotional pain, so don't just simply ignore the problem and hope that someone else will deal with it. A simple, "Hey, you've been looking pretty stressed lately, do you need a shoulder to cry on?" is enough to let the person know you care.
People who self-harm can't simply make their feelings go away, especially if they have an underlying problem, such as depression. While chatting to a mate is a great place to start, they will probably also need the professional help of a counsellor or a doctor. Sometimes a person will be happy to start working on their problems, but if they refuse, you may need to get an adult involved.
If you're the one who's cutting or engaging in self-harm, speak to a friend, teacher, school counsellor or call a help line. Let the person know that you have been finding things pretty tough lately, and that you'd like to chat about the stuff that's been stressing you out. Working through issues as they happen is much better than waiting for it all to build up. Talking to someone may help you solve the problem before you think about harming yourself.

Say NO To Shelf-Harm:
Letting everyday stress build up is a sure fire way to create one hell of a big problem for yourself. Along with the support of a friend, family member, and/or health professional, DISTRACT YOURSELF WITH THESE STRESS-RELEASING TIPS IF YOU EVER FEEL THE URGE TO SELF-HARM.

#MIND OVER MATTER - Say to yourself that you're going to put off self harming until you've spoken to someone for 15 minutes. Then, see if you can extend that for another 15 minutes, until the urge passes. This does not necessarily have to be about what you are thinking, but if you wish to talk about it, do so.
#WRITE IT DOWN - Keep a daily journal of your thoughts (You can do this online at http://www.reachout.com.au). The emotional release of getting your stresses down on paper can be enough of a weight lift that you won't feel the need to self-harm.
#PUSH THE LIMITS - When you feel the urge to self-harm, push yourself physically by running as fast as you can around a park. Aim to do at least 30 minutes of exercise a day - even if it’s just a walk around your neighbourhood – to get those feel-good endorphins flowing and help you feel calmer and more in control.
#LET IT OUT – Go somewhere private and yell or sing at the top of your lungs. Cry and scream if you want to – just don’t keep it pent up inside. It’s definitely not a sign of weakness to let out your emotions.

_________________
DHC Manageress, 0001
http://www.freewebs.com/dragonhearthelpcentre
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http://MiniDragon93.piczo.com

xbrutalxhonestyx · Posted: Wed May 30, 2007 5:16 pm Post subject:

Great read Manageress! Just had to add my experence. I knew a great lady about 6 years ago(I'm old..26) who had this tendency for most of her teenage years and was just about to turn 20. I went to the same school of studies as she did and it took about 6 months before I was close enough for her to actual tell me about this. She was quite emotionaless and matter a fact about it, as she was with most of the things she talked about dealing with herself. But she seem pretty confident, sweet, and happy. So don't let that personality tell you different espacially with situation like this there masters at hiding the pain not just from themselves but also from you.

It was only as I began to sped a good amount of time giving some care about her life and what she'd been thru did I start to get the full story about why she did it. It had to do alot with the fact she was hiding her pain. Thats what made me so happy about the read because the most important thing about this is being able to talk about it. I'm no one special, but after getting her to talk about it, and about the drama she'd be thru (much there) did it began to loss ahold of her. I never told her, "You need to stop that", I just explain to her as best I knew at the time, that "Its because of want you've been thru that you feel you need to do this, and as far as I'm concern thats all up to you" and just spent most of my affords on relating honestly about my story and hers. Hoping this way if she got something, anything from talking to me, it would at the least make it harder.

It was about 6 months later after that, that she actually turned to me one day and showed me her scars had actually healed up and from what I could see for the frist time in awhile none of them were recent. We kind of got a laugh out of the whole thing thou, but with something like this its always best to us humor when you can. And I've kept pretty good contact with her since and she finaly got herself happily married, and sounds almost like another person, more apt to voice her insecurities, but also her opioions! Just had to put this thou to say how powerful just plain old conversation can be, as long as your honest, that was the hard part.... but it does work!